By Sexual health is one of the areas of human life where misinformation travels fastest and corrects slowest.
Some of these myths come from outdated sex education that hasn’t been updated in decades. Some come from cultural assumptions so deeply embedded that nobody thinks to question them. Some are perpetuated by media, pornography, or the internet. And some are simply things people have heard repeated so many times that they assumed the repetition meant accuracy.
The problem with sexual health myths is that they cause real harm. They prevent people from getting tested for infections they don’t know they have. They make people feel broken when their experience doesn’t match what they’ve been told is normal. They delay people from seeking treatment for conditions that are genuinely treatable. And they create shame around a dimension of life that deserves clarity and honesty instead.
This article takes on twelve of the most common and most harmful sexual health myths circulating in the United States – with what the evidence actually says about each one.
This article is part of our Sexual Health series. For the full foundation, visit our Sexual Health Explained guide.
Myth 1: If You Don’t Have Symptoms, You Don’t Have an STI
This is probably the most dangerous sexual health myth in circulation – because it prevents testing, allows infections to spread, and leads to complications that could have been avoided entirely.
The reality is that the majority of STIs produce no symptoms at all – or symptoms so mild that they go unnoticed or are attributed to something else.
- Chlamydia – the most commonly reported bacterial STI in the US – produces no symptoms in approximately 70 to 95 percent of women and 50 percent of men
- Gonorrhea is frequently asymptomatic, particularly in women
- HIV often produces flu-like symptoms during acute infection that most people don’t connect to HIV exposure
- Genital herpes is frequently mild enough that people don’t recognize it as herpes – and many people transmit it without knowing they have it
- HPV almost always produces no symptoms at all
The only way to know your STI status is to get tested. Symptoms are an unreliable guide – and in most cases, they’re simply absent.
“The majority of STIs produce no symptoms. Waiting for symptoms before getting tested is the single most reliable way to miss an infection, develop complications, and unknowingly transmit it to partners.”
Myth 2: You Can Tell if Someone Has an STI by Looking at Them
You cannot. STIs do not have a visible look. They do not announce themselves through appearance. A partner who seems healthy and looks clean can have chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, HIV, or HPV – and have no idea themselves. This myth is particularly harmful because it creates false reassurance that leads people to skip protection or testing.
The only reliable way to know someone’s STI status is for them to have been recently and comprehensively tested and to share those results.
Myth 3: The Birth Control Pill Protects Against STIs
It does not. Hormonal contraception – including the pill, patch, ring, injectable, implant, and hormonal IUD – prevents pregnancy but offers zero protection against sexually transmitted infections. The only contraceptive method that provides meaningful STI protection is the condom – male or female.
This distinction matters enormously. Many people in relationships who have moved from condoms to hormonal contraception believe they are now protected from everything. They are protected from pregnancy. They are not protected from STIs – and regular testing remains appropriate for anyone with new or multiple partners regardless of what contraception they use.
Myth 4: Herpes Is a Rare, Devastating Diagnosis
Herpes is extraordinarily common. Approximately one in six Americans aged 14 to 49 has genital herpes (HSV-2), and the number is higher when oral herpes (HSV-1) is included (CDC, 2023). Given that HSV-1 can be transmitted to the genitals through oral sex, the actual prevalence of herpes infections is higher than most people realize.
The stigma around herpes is dramatically disproportionate to the medical reality of the condition. For most people, herpes is a manageable, episodic condition – some people have frequent outbreaks, many have rare ones, and some have none at all after the initial infection. Antiviral medications reduce outbreak frequency and significantly reduce transmission risk. Many people with herpes lead entirely normal sexual and romantic lives with appropriate precautions and honest communication.
“Approximately one in six Americans has genital herpes. The stigma attached to the diagnosis is dramatically disproportionate to the actual medical reality – which for most people is a manageable, episodic condition that does not define their sexual or romantic life.”
Myth 5: If You’re in a Monogamous Relationship, You Don’t Need to Worry About STIs
This depends on whether both partners were tested comprehensively before the relationship became exclusive – and in many cases, they weren’t.
Many people enter what they consider monogamous relationships without either partner having had a recent comprehensive STI test. Infections acquired before the relationship began – including herpes, HPV, and HIV – can be present and transmissible without either person knowing. Some infections, like HPV, can remain dormant for years before being detected.
Getting tested together before relying on monogamy for STI protection – rather than assuming that commitment equals safety – is the more responsible approach.
Myth 6: Sex Drive Naturally Dies in Long-Term Relationships
This myth causes enormous damage because it leads couples to accept a decline in sexual connection as inevitable rather than addressable.
Yes, the intensity of early-relationship desire – driven partly by novelty and neurochemistry – naturally moderates over time. But the death of sexual desire is not an inevitable feature of commitment. It is a feature of relationships where sexual connection stops being actively invested in.
Long-term couples who maintain satisfying sexual relationships tend to do so through intentional communication, prioritizing intimacy, understanding each other’s desire patterns, and being willing to adapt their sexual relationship as circumstances change. Desire in long-term relationships tends to become more responsive and less spontaneous – which requires different conditions rather than less investment.
Myth 7: Men Always Want Sex More Than Women
This stereotype is not only inaccurate – it actively harms both men and women. Men who have lower sexual desire than their partners are made to feel abnormal or broken. Women with high sexual desire are made to feel unusual or are pathologized. And couples where the woman has higher desire than the man are left without language or support for navigating what is actually a very common experience.
Research on sexual desire across genders is considerably more nuanced than the cultural stereotype suggests. Individual variation in desire is enormous and crosses all gender lines. Low libido affects approximately 10 percent of women and a meaningful proportion of men (Shifren et al., 2008). High desire occurs in both sexes. The idea that gender reliably predicts desire levels does not hold up to scrutiny.
Myth 8: Erectile Dysfunction Only Affects Old Men
Erectile dysfunction is significantly more common with age – that part of the stereotype is accurate. But ED affects men of all ages, including men in their twenties and thirties, far more commonly than most people realize.
In fact, an estimated 26 percent of men under 40 experience ED – with psychological factors, particularly performance anxiety, being the most common driver in younger men (Capogrosso et al., 2013). Vascular contributors can also emerge earlier in men with cardiovascular risk factors, diabetes, or lifestyle contributors including smoking and obesity.
The assumption that ED is exclusively an older man’s problem leads younger men to not seek help, to feel uniquely broken, and to miss conditions – including cardiovascular risk factors – that benefit from early identification.
Myth 9: Losing Your Virginity Hurts if You Have a Vagina
Pain during a person’s first experience of vaginal penetration is not inevitable or normal. If it happens, it typically results from:
- Insufficient arousal and natural lubrication
- Anxiety and resulting pelvic floor muscle tension
- Rushed or rough penetration
- Inadequate communication and control over pace
With adequate arousal, lubrication, communication, and a pace that allows the person with a vagina to be comfortable, first-time penetration does not have to be painful. The myth that it is supposed to hurt – and the related myth about the hymen “breaking” – has no physiological basis and has been used to normalize pain that women are entitled to not experience.
The hymen is a thin membrane at the vaginal opening that is highly variable in shape, size, and thickness between individuals. In many people it is barely present. It does not “break” at first intercourse – it is elastic tissue that stretches.
Myth 10: You Can’t Get Pregnant During Your Period
You can, and it happens more commonly than people expect. Here is why.
Sperm can survive inside the reproductive tract for up to five days after intercourse. If a person has a short cycle – 21 to 24 days rather than the typical 28 – ovulation can occur shortly after menstruation ends. Sperm deposited during the final days of a period can still be viable at ovulation.
Additionally, people’s cycles are not always as regular as they assume. Using a period as reliable contraception is not a dependable strategy – which is why healthcare providers and the evidence consistently recommend established contraceptive methods for anyone seeking to reliably prevent pregnancy.
Myth 11: Using Two Condoms Is More Protective Than One
The opposite is actually true. Using two condoms simultaneously creates more friction between them, which increases the likelihood that one or both will tear or break. A single condom used correctly and consistently provides the protection condoms are designed to offer. Adding a second does not double protection – it compromises it.
The correct way to maximize condom effectiveness is a single condom applied correctly – checking the expiration date, leaving space at the tip, using water-based or silicone-based lubricant (never oil-based, which degrades latex), and ensuring no air bubbles are trapped.
Myth 12: Sexual Problems Are Just Part of Getting Older and Can’t Be Treated
This is one of the most consequential myths because it prevents people from seeking treatment for conditions that are genuinely responsive to intervention – at any age.
Yes, certain changes in sexual function are a natural part of aging. Arousal may take longer. Erections may require more stimulation. Lubrication may decrease. Desire may shift. These changes are real.
But significant, distressing sexual dysfunction is not something that simply has to be accepted. Effective treatments exist for erectile dysfunction, low libido, female sexual pain, and arousal difficulties at every age. Hormone therapy, pelvic floor physical therapy, medications, psychological treatment, and lifestyle changes all have evidence of benefit in older adults – not just younger ones.
The assumption that sexual difficulties in older adults are untreatable leads to unnecessary suffering, reduced quality of life, and the abandonment of an important dimension of intimacy and connection.
“Significant sexual dysfunction at any age is not something that simply has to be lived with. Effective, evidence-based treatment exists for virtually every common sexual health concern – in people in their 30s and in people in their 70s. The barrier is rarely the treatment. It is the assumption that seeking help isn’t worth it.”
The Common Thread
Looking across these twelve myths, a pattern emerges. Most of them either:
- Prevent people from getting tested or seeking help (myths 1, 2, 8, 12)
- Create unnecessary shame around normal experiences (myths 4, 6, 7, 9)
- Produce false reassurance that leads to risky decisions (myths 3, 5, 10, 11)
Each of those categories causes real harm to real people. And the antidote to all of them is the same thing – accurate information delivered without shame, judgment, or the assumption that people can’t handle the truth about their own health.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: Where can I get accurate, reliable sexual health information in the US?
Reputable sources include the CDC (cdc.gov/std), the American Sexual Health Association (ashasexualhealth.org), Planned Parenthood (plannedparenthood.org), the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (acog.org), and the American Urological Association (auanet.org). For mental health and sexual health intersections, AASECT (aasect.org) is a strong resource for finding certified sex therapists.
Q: How do I have a conversation with a partner about sexual health myths they believe?
Approaching it with curiosity rather than correction tends to work better – “I read something interesting about this that surprised me” rather than “that’s actually wrong.” Sharing a reliable resource – an article from a reputable medical organization – can be more effective than a direct argument. And choosing a neutral, relaxed moment rather than immediately before or after sex reduces defensiveness.
Q: Are there sexual health myths specific to the LGBTQ+ community that deserve addressing?
Yes, several. The myth that only gay men get HIV (HIV affects people of all sexual orientations and the majority of new HIV diagnoses globally are in heterosexual people). The myth that lesbian and bisexual women don’t need STI testing (STIs including herpes, HPV, and bacterial vaginosis can be transmitted between women). And the myth that transgender people don’t need sexual health care that accounts for their specific anatomy. Sexual health care should be individualized and inclusive.
Q: Is there a reliable way to fact-check sexual health claims I see online?
Before accepting any sexual health claim, consider the source – is it a medical organization, a peer-reviewed journal, or an anonymous post? Look for specific references to research rather than general assertions. Cross-check against CDC, ACOG, or AUA guidance. Be particularly skeptical of claims that something is “natural” and therefore safe, or that mainstream medicine is hiding something that a supplement can fix.
Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for personal health concerns.
References
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). STI Treatment Guidelines. 2021. https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/default.htm
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Genital Herpes Statistics. 2023. https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/stdfact-herpes.htm
Shifren JL, Monz BU, Russo PA, Segreti A, Johannes CB. Sexual problems and distress in United States women. Obstet Gynecol. 2008;112(5):970-978. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18978096
Capogrosso P, Colicchia M, Ventimiglia E, et al. One patient out of four with newly diagnosed erectile dysfunction is a young man – worrisome picture from the everyday clinical practice. J Sex Med. 2013;10(7):1833-1841. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23663068
American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Hymen. 2019. https://www.acog.org
Trussell J. Contraceptive failure in the United States. Contraception. 2011;83(5):397-404. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21477680
American Sexual Health Association (ASHA). Sexual Health Resources. 2023. https://www.ashasexualhealth.org
Planned Parenthood. Sexual Health Education. 2023. https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/sexual-health
